Ray of sunshine

“Baby, don’t play with fire,” sings Matt Shultz of Cage The Elephant on Spotify.

I heave. I am certain that we are playing with fire. Again. And I know it won’t be the last time we put us in such risk. Why? Because there is a certain thrill to it; That if we can overcome the emotional setbacks now, the sweet success will be super satisfying and strengthening.

There is a change in the game, though – Roles have reversed. This destabilizes things slightly more than normal and it puts me in a position which makes me vulnerable yet overwhelmingly excited. Different voices in my mind speak and clash and speak and clash. One moment, I am secure. And the next, I feel at loss. To put it simply, this messes up my head and heart.

But I want to be that close to the fire, to learn how to dance with it without getting burnt. It will take a lot of fucks to understand every single nuance, I know, but it will be worth it. It better be.

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